this morning my 9 year old daughter decided to push my patience ,she refuse to get dressed for school ,started screaming at me and throwing things around upstairs.finally i flipped when she called me a stupid cow ,i was about to wash her mouth out with soap then i softened.I get very upset when my kids are rude to me and i need to find a way to tackle it ,I'm under enough pressure at the moment ,i feel like taking them all to there dads and leaving them for a week ,ive been married twice so there are 2 dads involved ,i still cant quite believe im on my own bringing up 4 children ,i have 2 hours to relax before they come home .

today is January 5,not written for a while ,Xmas has come and gone thank goodness it was very hard without my dad being there.i miss him the closest Ive ever been with my dad was the when he was ill ,it was really special cause i could show him how much i cared .all my kids went back to school after the holidays it was bliss,my 13 year old son is going through puberty ,i will talk to him as much as i can about things and there are some things i wont talk about . So have been a single parent for 12 months ,if I'm honest I'm loving it ,i can teach my kids what i want and i am free to make my own decisions ,even if sometimes there the wrong ones at least i can make my own choices.

today was a strange day for me ,i was at home alone for the first time in a year ,felt a bit lost also felt relief ,all my children were at school ,for the last year my son who has just turned 13 was out of school,he went back today and i think he actually enjoyed it ,i want this first week to go by quick so that he can settel .i have four children two girls and two boys ,in the last year i have also become a single parent now thats another challange ,the main struggle is the finance side of things so bad that im living in fear of the bailiffs turning up in the morning ,im sure im not the only one wandering what they will take from my house ,i will try my best to outsmart them ,its worked in the past .